


Good God, Let Me Give You My Life

by hummingrightalong, itslifethatscaresmetodeath



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Ezekus, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 10:12:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18386363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingrightalong/pseuds/hummingrightalong, https://archiveofourown.org/users/itslifethatscaresmetodeath/pseuds/itslifethatscaresmetodeath
Summary: Jesus stumbles upon the Kingdom for the first time, he makes a good impression on the community and a special connection with Ezekiel.





	1. Key Lime

He finds them by chance. They're are 4 of them, dressed in makeshift armor, riding on horseback, and they have him surrounded before he can react. Well, fuck.

He does what he does best, makes it up as he goes along. He's quick on his feet for sure but when that fails him, his brain usually picks up the slack. Deciding humility might be the best course of action, he immediately pulls down his bandana to reveal his entire face and drops to his knees. He has his hands up, eyes downcast, plays the helpless victim the best he knows how.

"Please, I - I swear I didn't mean any harm, I - I'm just passing through..." he says, keeping his voice quiet. he sneaks a glance at then riders - thinks better of it the second he lays eyes on the stern faced Amazonian woman to his left. He might be in just a little more trouble than he thought. a large man with a slight Irish lilt hops down, takes his knives and restrains his hands in front of him but Jesus zeroes in on the third man - well boy, really. 

He might just be able to get an edge there, knowing from experience that the look in his eyes is far from innocent. He only tried to speak once but quickly aborts the action, trying to hide that his face is turning the color of his hair. Jesus already feels bad for even considering taking advantage of the a little puppy crush but if it's what he's gotta do...survival is the name of the game. 

It works like a charm and he's suddenly on the front of the cute ginger's horse, off to who the hell knows where. He just hopes that whoever is in charge is more reasonable than Daniel's ( he'd finally dared to whisper his name into Jesus' ear) companions. Or at least as easily persuaded? Again, he *really* doesn't like relying on sex or his looks to get ahead in any situation (it'd probably trigger him if he dared let it...) but he doesn't want to die. 

He gets Daniel to talk but not much. pretty much everything he asks is answered the same way: "You'll have to talk to the king", until Jesus decides to risk divulging some personal details of his own.

"Do you know where Barrington House is?" he asks. Daniel has to be a teenager - 17 at most if he's out here with the guard - and anyone who grew up in Virginia has visited the historic mansion on a class trip at least once. Daniel hesitates for a second but nods.

"That's where my community is..." Jesus says. 

"You shouldn't tell people that," the younger man practically hisses. His leader has obviously taught him well and the way they seem to blend into the background is impressive.

He's never been an optimist but he's trying to be a different man lately with this whole 'Jesus' thing he's got going on. He'd gotten pretty good at the whole peaceful zen thing before the infection but dealing with Gregory has tested that resolve and he's actually pretty proud of you how well he's perfected the art.

"I know I shouldn't say, but I don't think you're going to hurt me - or any of us. we're called the Hilltop. we have things to trade but to make it through the winter..."

"You're thinking we might be able to work something out? Fill in the gaps we both have," he knows Daniel might be kicking himself if it were possible for running his mouth but the young man can't stop and Jesus soaks it in. "You're not wrong. we're pretty self sufficient but nobody's perfect. I'll make sure you see the king right away."

"Thank you, Daniel," he says, turning his head to hide his smirk when the ginger blushes again, trying to save him a little dignity at least.

So, yeah, again, not an optimist by nature but - new leaf and all. He's only slightly skeptical about this whole 'King' business but at least he knows a little of what he's getting into...and his instincts kind of has a good feeling about this. They have weapons, he was at their Mercy and they could have killed him at any moment...but they didn't. they're good people, he's sure of it, and seem to have their shot together. 

He wasn't kidding or laying it on thick - hilltop *is* in trouble, they *do* need to establish some kind of trade agreement or they're not going to make the winter. This may be his only chance so he at least has to try.

***

Okay, he really did think he was prepared for "the Kingdom" and it's leader but now that he's in the thick of it, he's starting to doubt himself. Stupid instincts. 

Daniel had made good on his word but the Amazon - Dianne - insisted on being the one to take him. He's blindfolded as he's led through what he suspects might have served as a highschool at one point - the sound those big metal doors make is unmistakable and sticks with you for life, apparently. When they finally come to a stop, he's roughly shoved to his knees, the blindfold is removed...it takes a moment for his eyes to adjust but yep, he's in a school. An auditorium to be exact.

He's kneeling before the stage, the only lit area of the spacious room, looking up at what I literally a goddamn throne. There a truly imposing man sits comfortably, with one leg slung casually over an armrest, but there's a grim expression on his face. There's a chain held loosely in his hand, it shifts as a fucking tiger saunters out from behind the throne. It takes one look at Jesus, roars, but the king absently strokes it's back.

"Easy, Shiva. down, girl," he says and Jesus hopes to God his face isn't betraying the shock - and maybe just a tiny bit of fear - that he's feeling right now. 

"You have a fucking tiger?" He asks. He doesn't mean to but he can't help it, it just slips out. The king laughs out loud, his voice echoing through the auditorium. 

"Yes. I have a tiger. Not that a man could really own such a beast. She’s more of a companion." he says. 

"We found him sneaking around at the edge of our territory, looking like some kind of bandit." Dianne supplies, gesturing to the bandana he'd been wearing when they'd first found him. Jesus foolishly has the urge to defend himself.

"Ok, the bandana is just to keep out the smell, and the blood out of my mouth. I made the mistake of tasting it once and I would not recommend. And I had no idea it was your territory, I swear. I was just -"

"Quiet!" she barks, but the king hold up his hand. 

"Leave us, please," he says, adding when she hesitates that the other man is restrained and that he can defend himself. Also, he has a fucking tiger.

“First, let me say that Diane can be quite sweet,” he says, as if it’s a precious secret after she’s left the room. “By the way you must be dying to slip out of those ropes by now.” Jesus thinks of denying it, but knows the leader of this place sees right through him. “A scoundrel knows another when he sees him.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a scoundrel but-” the ropes are a pile on the floor before he finishes his statement. “I know a thing or two about knots, and being taken against my will.”

“You can leave anytime you want. First, perhaps I can show you around and you can tell me where you come from. And no bullshit, I can see that you’re well groomed and well enough fed.” As if it never happened, the last statement is made without the dramatic air.

***

The Kingdom is nothing short of magical- at least compared to Hilltop. Bigger too.

As Zeke shows him around there’s a little bit of everything, and it’s clear that without intrusion this place could self sustain indefinitely. Jesus can see why the guards were so fiercely protective.

Young children train with a variety of weapons and Jesus finds himself offering to help train before he realizes what’s spilling out of his mouth. Perhaps that’ll be an opening to trade, and he feels the same urge to help these people as he does the people of Hilltop.

As they stroll by another field, there’s farmers. It reminds him of home (not that he’s ever felt Hilltop was really home, it’s just the closest word he can think to describe it), but with a much larger variety of fresh fruits and vegetables. He’s impressed again, and there’s an overwhelming feeling of...family(?) here.

As the day goes on, he hears a soft humming that becomes a recognizable tune. Eventually, the peaceful song (that must be ringing in the day’s end) is heard from every voice working outside. 

He’s invited to dinner, sat by the King and some of his stewards. Ezekiel insists on not talking business but promises there will be talk later. “It would be a shame, anyhow, if you missed dessert. Jerry is a masterful piemaker.”

***

He’s lead to Jerry’s home, which smells like fresh warm fruit, and dozens of varieties of baked goods. He’s offered a taste of his favorite “pick one, I usually have a feeling for these things but you’re stumping me, man.”

“I don’t mean to offend- but I’ve never really been a fan. I’m sure it’s delicious…” Jerry gives him a long look, and Jesus wonders if he will take offense or call him on his health conscious bullshit in the apocalypse. He doesn’t, just shrugs.

“It’s fine, no worries. I think the King is ready for you by the way.”

It’s true, Zeke had been waiting outside the door. He and Jerry have a whispered conversation. Shiva, who has been resting under Jerry’s kitchen table is passed back to her master. Jesus misses the exchange between the two men (thinking it has something to do with the trade or another personal matter). But Jerry knows what he missed, and demands a source of key limes for the inevitable return visit of Jesus (he knows the King too well...and wishes he wasn’t picking up on the sexual tension but wants his friend to be happy- if pie helps, then he’s going to make Jesus a pie shaped offer that he can't refuse).

***

The King, working his magic (he has a way with words that makes the avid reader stop before he can make the slightest excuse) requests another meeting. This time there’s no ropes, chains, even Shiva roams free as they talk.

“Would you grant me the honor of showing me some of your abilities. Slipping restraints can not be the only skill you possess.”

Jesus laughs, sighs, and demonstrates some of the martial arts he once used to train MMA fighters in the gym he’d owned in the old world. The King stands and applauds.

“As I’ve said, I’m not sure what my community has to offer...but we desperately need a hand this winter.”

“You have shown me exactly what this...Hilltop has to offer us. If only you would grant us your presence and expertise. You can start right away and I will send you home at the end of the month with what your people need. If that’s acceptable.”

Jesus considers this, thinking he’s been gone longer than that scavenging and come back with less sometimes, to the observation of...pretty much no one. Wow, that’s depressing. “I accept.”

***   
Like magic, during his training Jerry stops by and asks him to come around the house once more. It’s been a couple weeks now and when he does there’s a fresh and expertly made key lime pie. His favorite. How did this sonuvabitch know?

“Screw it,” Jesus mutters, taking a bite of the gorgeous slice Jerry offers. If he weren’t sort of falling for this place before he’s damn near in love now. “People always make this too sweet-”

“I know right. Yo, you can trust me to get the flavors right, even if I wasn’t a fat guy. Used to be a pastry chef.”

“If you weren’t the huge imposing bastard that stands beside the throne with a double sided axe I’d say the King should make you the official pastry chef around here.”

“Man, I am. I pull double duty around here.”

***

Jesus finds himself getting close to Zeke, getting used to the idea of staying here when the King poses the possibility.

The sneaky fuck does it in the worst way possible, sprawled out in bed as Jesus is getting packed up to go back home- that word still doesn’t feel right.

“I could get used to you staying here forever,” the King rolls over, sheets riding low on his hips. He’s otherwise completely fucking naked and pretty much impossible to resist, so Jesus doesn’t even dare look.

“I’ll be back. That’s part of the agreement.”

The bed creaks, Zeke getting up to close the distance between them and hold Jesus, face buried in his neck, breathing him in. “You do not have to return at all. We need you just as much here. People have come to enjoy you, I’ve come to enjoy you..”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

“Not just your body, though it is a heavenly body…”

Jesus feels his resolve wavering. Hilltop can wait a few more hours.

***

Hours later, yes, *hours*, the King is resting peacefully when Jesus slips out of his grasp and out of bed. He dresses quickly, scribbling a note.

‘You know I can’t stay. Hilltop needs me. And this place needs to stay hidden. You said so yourself. I’ll be back. As soon as I can manage.’


	2. Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, and budding affections...but all good things come to an end.

When Jesus arrives back at Hilltop, a truck full of exotic treasures, Gregory has to ask. It doesn’t get him very far, Jesus had made a promise and would keep it. Their own leader (if he could be called that) didn’t really care much or press the issue. The value was in the goods, not how he acquired them. He’d say it was that conversation alone that motivated the excuses in his mind, the reasons to return so quickly to the Kingdom. Maybe in part it was. 

***  
The guards are much friendlier and more receptive of him the second time around. And the third...you get the idea. He was familiar with them, might even say he’d made tenuous connections with Kingdomers other than Ezekiel.

***   
Jesus keeps up his end of the bargain, training the youths and adults alike. He enjoys his freetime in the Kingdom too. It’s beautiful, the people, the hidden location, it’s hopeful. Sure, Hilltop had farmers and a few fighters...but this was a *community*.

Ezekiel makes a habit of watching him work, and then spiriting him away, like he can’t get enough. It’s flattering. Catching him in the showers, if only to steal his hair-ties because he likes his hair better down. There’s nothing possessive about the action. It’s playful, sweet, but for some reason feels too intimate. 

A lot of things are becoming too intimate. Zeke keeps asking questions about his former life, what he’s lost, *who* he’s lost. 

The best, and worst, is when Zeke declares while watching him pack up. “You should stay. They don’t appreciate you. I’d appreciate you. I *do* appreciate you. You’re one of us, you know it.” And Jesus does. He feels a connection with these people. But a duty to those at Hilltop.

So he never answers, makes excuses, leaving for his own community off schedule. But he always finds himself wandering back.

***  
Jesus quirks an eyebrow at Jerry, who is exiting the main grounds of the kingdom, Shiva on a giant metal chain. She yawns big, a surprisingly friendly gesture for how terrifying it might look. Some people give the Steward walking the King’s pet a wide berth. Others are used to this.

The Hilltop scavenger has been visiting for a few weeks now, and he knows the code as well as Jerry does. “Walk the cat.” Has a much deeper meaning. ‘Get the hell out of the room before things get weird’. Jerry doesn’t mind.

Knowing full well what’s waiting for him, Jesus takes his time. He has to. He has to resist this. Or at least make a show of it. 

And then he makes it into the throne room.

King Ezekiel is posed in his usual glory, with one exception. He’s sprawled out on the big thrown, completely nude. Jesus hangs his head.

“How am I supposed to say no?”

“I would give you your own throne if only you’d accept. But this is a start.” Jesus ignores the comment- it’s not the first time he’s offered by now and the scavenger gets more and more nervous each time he mentions it. He kind of just wants to get down to business and as if to prove the point he’s naked by the time he climbs into the King’s lap. He teases him slightly, kissing him deeply and grinding his ass into his lap. When Zeke’s hands go to cup his ass he grabs his hands and presses them down against the armrests. 

There’s a tube of lube waiting in the pocket of Zeke’s jacket- he’s slung it over the back of the seat for easy access (Jesus is really getting to know this guy). Working himself open while the King watches, almost undone for once except for the insistent tip of his cock pressing against Jesus’ ass.

Adding some lube to his cupped palm, he works Ezekiel into a frenzy (which for him is muttering sonnets with a peaceful closed-eyed grin). Jesus wears a wicked grin when he grasps Zeke’s dick, guides the tip in, and relaxes fully into the bigger man’s lap.

“I’m still never going to be your consort, but you can have this.” Jesus rises slightly and sinks back down to make his point. He’s lost in this himself, the blissful peace and, for once, the silence of the King, the only sounds in the room muffled moans through deep kisses, the unmistakable sound of skin against skin.

Finally, Jesus takes Zeke’s hands, places them on his hips, and lets him take control of their pace. His large soft hands do things to Jesus he’d rather not admit, and allowing the other man control makes him cum hard. He’s not one for overstimulation, but they continue to gently move together and Jesus feels the hot heat in his belly spreading out and he should be spent but the King fucks him through the first into the second. 

Jesus almost draws blood when he braces himself with hands on soft muscular shoulders, digging in when he comes and Zeke follows, finding just the right spot as he holds him still.

“All this...you wouldn’t miss?” Zeke asks after he’s breathing slows. His pupils are wide, he looks drunk or high and it’s almost too much a compliment to take that it’s Jesus’ body that did this to him.

***

It’s been days, he knows that much. With every intention to leave, Paul turns his head and catches the light from the bathroom in the King’s private chambers.

Yeah, if he’s thinking in terms like that he’s already in trouble. But he’s sure as hell not prepared, no matter how many times he’s watched this ritual, to catch the reflection of the King during his morning ritual. 

The usual, twisting his dreads, runs his hands over his bare chest. He watches his face and hands, the loose deep red top of his silky pajamas clinging to the muscles in his arms. There’s something so simple and comforting about it, yet incredibly sexy.

His voice booms from the next room. “Jesus, you’re awake…”

A big yawn, averting his eyes from the sight even as he hears clothes drop to the floor near the bed, feels the weight of the other man on the bed. 

Jesus shoves his face into the pillow, pleading with his willpower and trying to think of every terrible thing that could happen if he doesn’t get back to business as usual.

“They need me Zeke.” The scavenger was one of the few people that got away with not using the man’s full title. Something about the whole Ren-fair vibe kind of did it for him though, reminded him of Shakespeare and Chaucer, and the vibrant speeches that so easily became filthy, sexy, things out of that man’s mouth.

“What do you need? Stay, just a while longer. My muse, I still have need of you.”

It’s clear exactly what that need is, when Zeke pulls the soft sheets off of Jesus’ shoulders and back, down dangerously low. He massages knots in muscles there that the other man has forgotten he has, that should’ve been worked out by now (considering what he’d been doing the past few days).

He can’t help himself, he sighs, feels his body go slack just from the attention to his upper body. As the King works his muscles he can feel him hardening, pressed against him. He can feel the hard muscle you might not expect under all the fancy clothes and big flowery speeches. 

My god this man.

He gently lifts his hips, and Jesus finds himself relaxing, legs opening and the rest of his body putty in this man’s hands. 

Zeke works him open, not just with his fingers and tongue but with the perfect words. 

When he’s about to beg for it, it’s like the King knows, and still he asks “may I have you, Jesus?”

“Oh lord yes,” comes a muffled reply. Zeke laughs, then they both groan when he enters the practically boneless man beneath him. 

“Your lord and only your lord,” He whispers, kissing Jesus’s neck, pulling his hips back towards him. “I would have you be my consort.” 

Jesus, true to form, can’t just leave things nice. They finish, and he quickly gets up, starts to dress without answering. 

Ezekiel sits up, sighs. “Too much?”

“Too much?” 

“When will I see you again. Will I see you again?” This is becoming a pattern, and the King is wise enough to know that there’s probably a reason he’s losing the battle, but he’s surely losing it. He’s suspected for a while there’s a deep hurt in Jesus that he refuses to share or even allude to. He doesn’t have to. They’ve all lost something. 

“I told you, Hilltop needs me.” 

“What do *you* need?” That almost stops him. Almost. When was the last time he was selfish? He likes Zeke. Sure he’s weird but he gets real with Jesus. But he can’t do this. And it’s not fair. To either of them. 

*** 

"But what do *you* want? And what does *Jesus* need? You’re one of us." 

He cant get Zeke's words out of his head, and for the first time in what feels like forever, Jesus wants to take the bait. Is he seriously considering leaving hilltop to make the kingdom his permanent home? Yeah, he kind of is.

Well, he was. For about a millisecond, until a week earlier when a tug on his pant leg had him looking down at big brown eyes framed by soft blond locks. Henry, Zeke's adopted son, smiled at him innocently, asked to be lifted up so he can see over the balcony too. And Jesus obliged, even enjoyed the little boys company for a time, careful not to let him topple over the edge. He wasn't any less happy when the king showed up to relieve him with an apologetic smile.

That incident might have been easily brushed off but the more time he spends with Zeke, the more time Henry wants to spend with him. With them. Like how he excitedly ran up, interrupting a class Jesus was training to show him the picture he drew. 'This is me, and this is Ben, and this is Danny, and dad, and that one is you', he'd said, pointing to each figure individually. He looked up at Jesus, all smiles, waiting for praise...

And Jesus can't help but realizing the resemblance to a familial setting is getting harder and harder to ignore. Especially since the last two nights have found the seven year old sleeping in the king's bed, curled up into Jesus’ Side like they all belonged there or something.

This is all normal though, Jesus thinks. Ya know, if you have kids...and Zeke has kids. Ben's a bit older but little Henry...Little Henry is so very cute but so very small and so very much a child...

Jesus doesn't want to be responsible for a child's life - for their survival, sure, but for the way they turn out? Well one look at his own past and how he'd grown up gives him the feeling he should keep his influence on young minds focused on teaching them to defend themselves in this terrifying world. That, more than anything, is what he wants for Henry - to survive, to live long enough to give Zeke a return on the love and support he's giving the children he didn't have to take in but did.

Jesus is just a name, something he invented for the apocalypse - he's still Paul deep down. Flawed and scared and kind of useless, especially in these kinds of situations. He's changed. he's Jesus now but recent events - Zeke, Henry, the 'l' word and the 'f' word looming above him - has Jesus losing all of his zen and doing a very un-Jesus like thing. Jesus panics...Jesus runs.

The next time they see each other, he's nervous but Zeke assures him all is fine, that he understands...He hopes they don't have to end the carnal part of the their relationship (and truthfully, neither does Jesus) but wouldn't want the younger man to trap himself in any situation that wouldn't make him completely and entirely content. Because that's all Ezekiel wants. For Jesus to be happy, because he cares for him. He knows Jesus cares for him too but isn't ready. And that's ok. 

He's not ready to say the 'L' word again and doubts he'll ever be able to have anything to do with the 'F" word...but that's ok. Paul - no, *Jesus* now - hasn't had a lot of people tell him that. Or care for him enough to put him before themselves. Zeke is truly an exceptional man, and maybe...someday...give it a decade or so?

And they need him. The Hilltop needs him. He doesn't mean to be vain but it's true. they need him. Zeke's right, he feels at home, content in the Kingdom...he feels like he could be one of them. But the Hilltop, they need him.


End file.
